- Draft 50,000 words in two mad months. Convince self you are literary giant.
- Lose focus, shelve draft for three years.
- Discover the entire secondary plot is crap. Scrap it.
- Rewrite over 18 months. 65,000 words of plausible nonsense.
- Discover the entire new secondary plot is crap. Scrap it.
- Rewrite over another year. Convince self you are not bonkers to have done so. 75,000 words.
- Decide to publish in six months. Actually tell people that.
- Get solid notes from beta readers. Rewrite. 82,000 words.
- Panic. How is the book getting LONGER?
- Gain beta reader approval. Send out for copyediting.
- Get edits back. Fix eleventy-million things. Send out for proof copy printing.
- Send uncorrected digital proofs to selected readers.
- Get proof in mail. Squeal like your tween self at an NKOTB show.
- Read through proof in horror: So. Many. Wrongs.
- Apply 427 sticky-note edits to proof.
- Implement changes to book files.
- Remember when Chef Louise said you eventually have to stop f*cking with it.
- Click ‘Publish.’
An earlier version of this post originally appeared April 3, 2015.
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